[B]oth my boyfriend and my mother… try their hardest to convince me that I could overide the dysphoria I have about my chest and genitalia if I tried to go to therapy or a gynecologist.

Take them with you and go to therapy or a gynecologist (I suggest therapy). When I had three therapists tell me they couldn’t change my gender identity, and two doctors suggesting I transition… I knew I had to.

Unless you’ve been karyotyped, you don’t know what chromosomes you have.

Male appearing genitalia can occur in XX persons and female appearing genitalia can develop in XY persons; aside from that, persons with a sex trisomy typically are not aware of it. For instance, people with XXX chromosomes typically assume they have XX because although they are at risk for a variety of things, they generally look female. Same for XXXX and XXXXX. People with XXY are more often diagnosed because of symptoms, but again, likely believe themselves to be XY. Same for those who have XYY or other arrangements.

Other sex chromosome arrangements are also sometimes asymptomatic.

Real talk on mixing transition and pregnancy.

First of all, who can get pregnant? To get pregnant, you need functional ovaries or else you need donated eggs. You also need a uterus (uterus transplants so far have not worked). And you need appropriate hormone levels; first you need appropriate hormone levels to induce ovulation, then you need appropriate hormone levels to carry through a pregnancy. And you need to not have toxins that will cut the pregnancy short. And you need somebody to contribute the sperm, and you need a method to get the sperm to the egg. And then you still don’t have a guarantee.

If you were appeared male at birth, and are transfeminine it’s very unlikely that you have a uterus, so you aren’t going to be able to get pregnant. If you were labeled male at birth but have some intersex issue and actually do have a uterus, consult an endocrinologist.

If you appeared female at birth, but you developed into a masculine person and identify as transmasculine, chances are pretty high that you have a uterus and ovaries (unless you’ve had them removed). The bigger question then is, do you have the right hormone levels? Do you have ovaries that work? A very large portion of trans men have cystic ovarian syndrome, which is one of the most common causes of female infertility. A smaller but significant portion of transmen have mild forms of adrenal hyperplasia, which can also cause infertility. Another small subset have totally nonfunctional gonads or no gonads - this latter fact is not something I’ve read but I’ve met four such transmasculine people and don’t believe it’s a coincidence. All told, probably about half of all transmen are infertile or subfertile before any medical intervention takes place. Most of them would probably be able to get pregnant with the use of medication… and this medication would cause feminisation because it would suppress the production of testosterone in the body.

So before you take any medical interventions into consideration, about half of trans men have an ability to get pregnant that is roughly equal to that of average women, and the other half have a lower or nonexistant ability to get pregnant.

Now let’s talk what happens after transition.

First of all, taking testosterone is extremely likely to shut down your gonads. Because the dose at which testosterone will shut down your gonads is unknown for you, as an individual, people on testosterone are advised to use birth control (preferably condoms) if they are having the sort of sex that results in pregnancy. Testosterone is likely to also interfere with pregnancy and cause miscarriage or in low doses, birth defects.

But that’s not permanent. After going off testosterone, most trans men will find that their gonadal function resumes. If they were in the half that was fertile before using testosterone, they are probably once again fertile. Yay! After going off testosterone, a person should wait until testostosterone levels are in the female range before attempting insemination, and avoid taking testosterone until after the pregnancy. If nursing, YOU MUST STAY OFF TESTOSTERONE UNTIL THE BABY IS WEANED. Testosterone can get passed through the breastmilk, and testosterone in breast milk could cause virilization and/or puberty in your baby. Yeah… don’t go there.

If you have top surgery, breast feeding is not likely to be possible. If you have an oophrectomy (removal of the ovaries), pregnancy would only be possible with donated oocytes (eggs), and honestly, getting a doctor’s okay for that would probably be rough. If you have a hysterectomy, pregnancy will not be possible. Period.

There are many trans men who have been pregnant before or after using testosterone. I read the blog of one of them (I’ve met his husband)

http://ishai-wallace.livejournal.com/

Pansexual or asexual, there comes a time when a person needs to live for xemself.

You need to take some time off from planning meeting following a script. You need some time to refresh yourself, to step back from the doings of life.

And maybe in a month or a year you will find yourself whole heartedly wanting somebody- and then you should go for it. Or maybe in a month or a year you will realize that you’re really much happier with less interpersonal interaction.

Your current need to not be in a relationship does not mean that you will always need to not be in a relationship- it just means that right now, you have had enough. Sometimes the way to find out what you like is not by experimentation, but by reflection. Don’t let yourself be pressured into relationships.

You can prevent testosterone mediated hair loss by using a testosterone blocker called finasteride.

Here’s the deal: to do just about anything in your body, testosterone first has to bind with five alpha reductase. There are multiple forms of five alpha reductase, and testosterone combined with different five alpha reductases does different things.

Finasteride blocks testosterone from binding with five alpha reductase type 2, which is responsible for causing body hair, balding, and prostate growth. If you take finasteride and testosterone, you will not get the same degree of male hair growth, and you won’t get testosterone related baldness.

Me, if I go bald, I’m going to wear it as proof of manliness… but that’s just me.

It’s worse that he’s a sub at your school (never mind the age difference).

Think for a moment. What kind of guy makes advances on students? Students are in a position of not necessarily being able to freely say no. Even if you are okay with it, this guy is bad news.

I don’t know where you are, but maybe you should go to a university and get a teaching certificate somewhere where there is less discrimination.

I live in a state where it is illegal to discriminate against trans people (which is not to say discrimination doesn’t happen) and some (not all) documentation can be changed without surgery, including all of the documentation I’d need to show to an employer.

I have a teaching certification and I work in schools, although not as the classroom teacher I imagined being (maybe soon). In filling out some of the forms for my background change, I listed my former name; other than that I have not done anything to out myself. I have not mentioned my trans status to any of my professors, teaching supervisors, bosses, principals, coworkers, or students.

I do have to worry a little bit about perceptions of male teachers. I kind of freak out every time one of my students hugs me- should I hug them back? What if somebody walks in and there’s a kindergardener with his head almost in my crotch? So far, no problems.

I am aware of a few high school teachers in my area who transitioned while working at a school- who left at the end of one year as Ms or Mr whoever, and came back the following year as Mr or Ms whoever, and their administrations and students were pretty cool with it. But they teach in public high schools and I teach in private schools elementary schools.

What kind of friend is that?

If you don’t have one, get a carry letter; a letter from some health professional stating that you should be allowed in the men’s bathroom.

I never got thrown out of a men’s room (honestly surprised that would happen), but honestly, getting thrown out of the ladies’ room, as validating as it could be in retrospect, was plenty awful at the time.

Find a different trans support group. I just got home from mine. I was one of two white participants and we had about twenty five youth. Last week we had thirty youth and I was again one of two white participants.

I’ve been going to a trans youth group for seven years. At times we’ve been up to about half white. But mostly we’re focused on issues and topics that welcome more people of color, and street youth, and people that come from more privileged backgrounds are less interested. Also, some white people are scared of the atmosphere.

At the same time, there’s another trans group of mostly college aged youth meeting about three miles away. They’re almost all white. I can easily imagine that they have exactly one POC in the group.

There are also a few adult groups meeting around here. The only one I’ve been to is majority white with a large African-American presence.

I think that in areas where there are multiple trans groups and a mixed race community, people self select into groups that run along class and race lines. If you live in a community that is not almost all white, then you should look around for another group, if you want to find more POC.